L’Albatross & Our Babymoon!

Hi all- first I just want to say thank you for such kind and loving words regarding my last post ❤️.

I hope everyone is doing well. I have been so eager to write this post. Our to-do list is dwindling, nursery is ready, air ducts have been cleaned, the house is deep cleaned and carpet cleaning is done. I had my last shift at work which was very bittersweet. We’re ready and eager to meet this little guy!! Ok let’s jump in!

January 12th DJ and I went to L’Albatros in Cleveland for my birthday while Quinn spent the evening with Gigi and Grandpa. This restaurant was DJ’s suggestion! He has been on a streak of finding the best gems lately.

This elegant and quaint French restaurant is tucked away in a corner of Case Western University’s campus. The building itself is actually an old carriage house.

One unique offering they have is the “assiette de fromages”, an assortment of cheeses. I stayed away because I wanted to be safe while pregnant, but we will be back to try as many as possible! DJ tried three different kinds and finally admitted how good they were when I pried it out of him (he didn’t want to brag since I was abstaining hah!). Also the fig jam and other accompaniments they serve it with were excellent. It transported me back to our cheese tasting in Austin at Antonelli’s!

Another appetizer we tried was the French toast. I expected it to be more like a crisp toasted bread, but it was actually French toast! It was savory with ragout of wild mushrooms and a balsamic glaze. The flavors went together beautifully!

Now, the main meal I ordered was one of my favorite meals of late. When they set it in front of me I figured I’d barely make a dent seeing the size. But I just about polished it off. So what was this dish?! Let me present you the duck confit with crispy duck leg, sweet potato puree and braised cabbage. This is a dish I will not forget!

DJ ordered the hanger steak and fries with bearnaise sauce.

While waiting for our food and enjoying the romantic moodiness of the restaurant, DJ asked if we had ever been to a French restaurant before. I remembered we had been to one in San Francisco. I couldn’t remember the name, so to the blog I went! I found the post where we visited Cafe Claude. It made us laugh that DJ ordered the same thing at L’Albatros he had ordered there!

After our fantastic meal we were so full but still had room in our dessert stomach. We stopped by the Handel’s near our house for some ice cream.

It was such a wonderful evening!

January 13th was my official birthday. 31 years! I am no longer 30, I am in my 30s. It was a really great, low key day. I soaked up a day with Quinnie, and everyone made me feel so loved 🥹. We ordered pizza from Decheco’s Pizzeria & it was fantastic! Maybe our new favorite pizza spot! The charred hot honey pizza and pineapple were where it’s at. And I was absolutely spoiled with the best birthday treats from friends and family!

January 14th we whipped out some toy bins in the basement for a change of pace.

Random- I have been craving carbonation a lot lately- but don’t really want to drink soda. I found this Sparkling Rainwater (yes actual Rainwater), and it gave me my fix!

Oh and I have got to RAVE about this birthday gift of Caraway food storage containers!!! I am OBSESSED!

January 15th we had a quick errand to run at the mall and naturally we stopped by the play place for a bit. I was hungry before we left around three and knew Quinn could use a snack too.

We stopped at a sushi place and ordered veggie rolls. They were delicious, but don’t let this picture fool you- this girlie spit her first bite all over the table.

We had to stop in the photo booth, as we do. I’m not sure if it’s sophomoric of me to love these things, but I treasure my little collection of photo strips with my Quinnie girl. I let Quinn choose the themes and this is what we landed on 😄.

A bump pic! I don’t remember exactly how far along I was. 32 weeks if my math is right?

That evening I started my postpartum meal prep! Coming up in the following posts will be a lot of large, nutrient packed meals made in the crockpot. First, I made a beef enchilada casserole. So good!

Moose being able to play at Marie and Jorge’s this winter has been such a great thing. It still gets him some exercise when we can’t walk him and he loves the socialization with other dogs. Don’t know what we would do without them!!

January 17th I made Quinn one of her favorite breakfast options- banana spinach pancake “pizza” .

We actually did a breakfast for dinner situation!

Had to share this adorable picture of Moose snuggling with one of Quinn’s stuffed animals 🥹.

January 18th I started the day with a Nervous Dog au lait with oatmeal, yogurt and peanut butter, my go to lately.

That afternoon I packed up for our baby moon and Clair, Lainey (Clair’s sister) and Layla (Clair’s daughter) arrived that afternoon to have a girls’ weekend with Quinnie!

Quinn had zero issue saying goodbye to us and was so happy to be with them.

DJ and I headed to Cleveland, where we did a little babymoon staycation. First up- Cordelia! Halston and Kevin got us a giftcard here for Christmas and we were so eager to use it. We have heard nothing but rave reviews about this place.

It’s located on the classic East 4th street in downtown. This street is happening!! It’s been a while since I’ve been here, and it was fun to see the new stores and restaurants illuminating the alleyway.

Decisions decisions!!! It was so hard for me to decide. The pregnancy restrictions actually helped a lot in the case , otherwise I really wouldn’t have been able to make up my mind!

We started with a trio of party snacks. We opted for carrot muhamarra with hazelnut dukkah, thaxton’s garlic with honey and sumac, and pimento cheese with smoked chili. Goodness it was all fantastic. I think DJ’s favorite of the three was the pimiento cheese and mine was the carrot muhamarra. I have no idea what half these words mean but I know they translate into insane deliciousness.

We enjoyed our appetizer while taking in the cozy, bustling establishment. It has a great vibe. It’s refined, yet inviting. Warm and cozy, while casually elegant. We loved it!

Next up, we tried the “bone in Brussels” with Harissa, salted almond charoset, genmai and mint. The “bone” is the stalk of the Brussels. This was very yummy!

Now the star of the show- the “burger box” with smoked cheddar, pickle, onion and Cordelia’s sauce. This was tremendous. One of my favorite burgers ever! (Although I still think often about the one from Heck’s!).

First baby moon meal was a major success! Thank you, Hal and Kevin!

Quinn was busy making pizzas and we were so far out of her mind haha.

We went back to the hotel after- we stayed at the Hilton Cleveland Downtown, which has become our go-to place when needing or recommending a hotel in Cleveland. Last time I was here was for my 30th birthday!

We had a great view of the Browns stadium!

Given how cold it was, all that sounded good to us was Door dashing dessert and watching a movie. DJ humored me with watching Wicked, which I’d been dying to see.

We had seen it on Broadway together, so it was fun to watch the movie together too. We loaded up on some serious desserts- an outrageously good cookie and Afters ice cream. We were in dessert heaven!!!

Yes, we are watching on Quinn’s iPad 🤣.

Unfortunately I realized I had forgotten my thyroid meds again. I figured one missed dose would probably be ok, but DJ insisted on going back to get them for me. He knew I would be likely secretly spiraling over it. So he drove about 40 mins back home, got the meds and returned, acting like it was no big deal. He is just the best. I did feel bad it cut into our time together, but we were able to finish the movie the next evening when Quinn fell asleep.

The next morning I snuck in an early morning workout. I always have the best workouts when traveling, I’m not sure why! Throughout my pregnancy, I have tried to get in about 3-4 miles a day in some type of walk/run combo. The walking has mostly taken over at this point, but just feels good to move!

I received an adorable pic of these two cuties first thing in the morning!

And Mr. Moose had a play date at Marie and Jorge’s that day. They sent this picture of a spiffy Mr. Moose!

I had a hankerin’ for coffee shop coffee, so we stopped by Rising Star Coffee Roasters on our way to brunch (we knew there’d be a wait, so this would help tide us over!).

This coffee was SO good!

Brunch time! We went to Juneberry Table, one of the most highly rated brunch spots in Cleveland.

I was absolutely famished by the time we got seated (I think we had a 40 min wait), and I was ready to chow down. We hung out in the car and chatted during the wait which was still so enjoyable.

We started with the Cheddar and Chive biscuit with sorghum butter and jam. This may have been my favorite thing here!!!

Then I also tried their parfait because it sounded refreshing, and it was!

I also got the Ohio Spelt Pancakes with sorghum butter, Ohio apples and cinnamon and syrup. There are not words!!!!

DJ ordered the Gravy and biscuit with local mushroom gravy, spinach, soft scrambled eggs and sausage crumbles. This was super delicious too.

It was definitely worth the wait and the hype!

We had considered going to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame before heading home, but the roads were starting to get hairy. We headed home instead eager to see our girl.

She was not ready to be done playing with them when she saw us 😂. She clearly had an amazing time. They also made this sweet Valentine craft with her for us 🥹.

That was a very special weekend we will treasure!

Part 3 January coming atchya next, that is – unless it’s a birth announcement haha. I’m 37 weeks!

🩵,

Mackenzie

June Part 2 & July 4th!

Hey y’all. Moving right on through the summer! We are catching up quite quickly, aren’t we?!

June 12th we tried out these reusable water balloons outside. They provided great entertainment!

One of my favorite go-to meals has been a protein pasta with Italian chicken sausage, a veggie like broccoli or peas, maybe some basil or red sauce and parmesan. So easy, and it always has Quinn’s approval.

June 13th we went to our nephew, Jack’s, baseball game! Quinn mainly played with her cousin, Will, at the park next to the fields.

June 14th Quinn wanted to put her baby doll in the carrier, so stinking cute.

June 15th we went to Lakeside! Gigi and Gordie recently renovated their cottage, and it’s absolutely beautiful. We were all thrilled to spend a weekend together enjoying it!

We stopped by the coffee shop, and grabbed Quinn a milk & coffees for ourselves. Coffee & Cream is one of my favorite coffee shops around!

She insisted on a little milk-coffee cheers!

Park time!!

After the park we walked along the pier for a bit.

Gigi and Grandpa hung with Quinn (who sweetly read to Tigger) while DJ and I went for a walk.

July 16th was Father’s Day! It was a great day celebrating with family.

June 18th I overhauled the sensory table with a pop-it bin, seashells and sand in the other.

June 19th we all went swimming at Gigi and Gordie’s country club. I love this pic Gigi captured!!

June 21st we had some alphabet fun practicing our letters.

June 22nd Quinn insisted on wearing her snowsuit around the house all day. I wasn’t mad about it considering it’s the closest thing to bubble wrap we will get 😄.

That evening Sissy, Poppy and Aunt Kori came by to spend time with Quinn while DJ and I went out for a date night!

We went to Los Girasoles, a Mexican restaurant in town we’d heard great things about.

They serve coleslaw with their chips and salsa, which is certainly unique. I love coleslaw though, so I was all about it!

Meanwhile Quinn was having fun being Miss Baker making playdough cookies!

The food was really good! I still think we like El Meson a tad better, but this hit the spot.

Oh and we ordered their flan for dessert! For some reason I didn’t think I liked flan, but this changed my mind. It was SO good!

June 24th the clouds were inviting cotton candy as I drove into work. But I couldn’t wait to get back to Quinnie after. It’s been extra tough being away from her at this age, especially since she now vocalizes she doesn’t like the separation either.

June 26th My girl and I headed to the grocery store. I discovered if I bring her Melissa and Doug cart along she really enjoys the shopping. We ran into a couple of her daycare teachers while there, and it was fun to see her reaction seeing them in a different environment.

After dropping off the groceries we went out with her new Strider balance bike she got for her birthday. She’s a bit small for it, but she still likes to walk it around the sidewalks.

Random, but sometimes Moose sits like a human in the car, and I had to share.

More park time!

And that brings us all the way to July! July 4th we got ready in the morning and headed to where other than Lakeside!

As we approached our destination, we noticed police lights behind us. My initial thought was I had expired tags or something. We pulled over and the officer asked DJ (who was driving) if he 1. had a medical issue or 2. was lost. DJ said no, and then the officer asked why he was going so far under the speed limit. He truly just thought the speed limit was lower than it was. But I have never heard of someone getting pulled over for going too slow. We all had a good laugh about that after (I still rib him about it), and thankfully there were no issues or ticket as a result.

We made it! After saying hi to family and enjoying some yummy Bruno’s pizza we all headed to the parade.

It was a fun day and Quinn enjoyed spending time with all her cousins! And we loved our family time too.

We didn’t stay for fireworks since it’s a bit of a drive back, but I was hoping we would see some once we did get home. I stood outside with Quinn for a minute because I thought I heard some, but we didn’t see anything. Right as we were going inside we heard one, turned around and the sky was lighting up from multiple spots! It was a special moment seeing Quinn in awe, and our security camera captured it all. I wish it would let me upload the video, but it’s not for some reason, darn!

July 5th Quinn received the cutest little gift package at our door with adorable outfits from her Sissy and Aunts Kylie and Kori for an upcoming family vacation!

That evening was so beautiful.

July 6th we spent some time at the Akron Children’s Museum. This is one of my go-to spots when I need to get us out of the house.

The rest of the day was spent finalizing our packing for Palm Desert! I’ll recap that next 🙂.

🫶🏻,

Mackenzie

Pittsburgh Part Two!

Welcome to Part 2 of our Pittsburgh trip! But quickly, back in Ohio on May 26th my sister, Halston, arrived with Captain!

Quinn is obsessed with Captain. The pictures and vids of the two of them we received were so sweet. Moose loved playing with Captain too!

Sweet cuddles with Aunt Hally 🥰.

Meanwhile, back in Pittsburgh DJ and I headed over to the Museum of Illusions. It was cool!

I’m not actually sitting in a chair here, but when taking a picture it creates the illusion that I am.

Then we walked to the Mr. Roger’s memorial statue. This city has so many gems!

Next we walked back toward the hotel and passed by PNC Park. We actually had been to one game here back in 2014! It was a great stadium.

We stopped into Red Beard’s for a light lunch of wings, salad and crispy Diet Coke, then headed back to the hotel to rest our feet before dinner.

Dinner ready!

The only meal I had planned for this trip was Eleven. I had read it is a must try in Pittsburgh on several lists.

The fine dining destination had sky high ceilings and a larger wine display than I’ve ever seen.

We had some Pinot Grigio with a delicious spread of breads and sea-salted butter. (Sea-salted butter gets my ultimate stamp of approval).

Then we shared a couple tastings of cheese savoring every little bite. I wish I remembered which exactly we tried, because they were phenomenal selections. I’m sure you can’t go wrong.

We also had the morel mushrooms that were too good for words. I particularly wanted to try these because my mom used to hunt for morels with my Grandpa, and she always raved about how delicious they were. I definitely understand the hype!

I had their delicious seafood tasting & DJ enjoyed a steak.

For dessert, we had the best crème brûlée I’ve ever tasted. I believe it was toasted marshmallow flavored.

And they brought out complimentary chocolates.

This place was so worth it, and I’m really glad we went!! The service was excellent too. Highly recommend!

It was pouring rain when we finished our meal, so we had to Uber back to the hotel. We changed into more comfortable clothes for the evening and it was only sprinkling by the time we were ready to leave again. Dodging the rain a bit, we finally made it to Puttshack for some elevated mini golfing!!

This place is so cool. Each hole has a different theme and is interactive. For instance, there’s a trivia hole where the screen asks a question, and you aim for a different hole depending what your answer is. Then you get more points if it was correct.

It keeps track of your strokes automatically and you just focus on having fun! And winning. Which I did. Not to brag. But I never beat DJ at stuff like this, so I might brag a little 😄.

After, we had a drink at the bar and talked the night away. We practically shut down the place!

We walked back to the hotel and passed by the Heinz museum, another Pittsburgh classic.

We enjoyed a great night sleep looking forward to what tomorrow would bring!

May 27th I got another awesome workout in then we packed our bags, loaded the car and headed out for breakfast.

We were in the mood for pastries after the almond croissant the day prior, so we went to La Gourmandine Bakery.

Wow wow wow, I don’t think you can go wrong here with any of the pastries! The coffee was great too. We tried another almond croissant, the panier framboise and a mini puff pastry,

I also had a slice of their quiche. It came out cold and was so-so, but the pastries were top notch.

Time to head home. Bye Pittsburgh 👋. We stopped by McConnells Mill State Park on the way home. This place was bustling with the smells and sounds of family cookouts, children playing and nature.

We went down to the actual mill, and it was absolutely fascinating. This stuff never ceases to amaze me. I find the way people were so resourceful in days before technology and modern conveniences so interesting and inspiring.

We walked one of the paths too, they had some great hiking trails!

And that wraps our Pittsburgh trip! Thanks for following along ☺️.

🫶🏻,

Mackenzie

Pittsburgh Part One!

Hello hello! I have been so eager to share all about our Pittsburgh trip. My mom suggested after our Miami trip went a bit awry that she and Pete watch Quinn while DJ and I have a weekend away. This was our first trip away, just DJ and I, since Quinn was born. While we missed her, it was wonderful time for us, and I definitely think we need to prioritize doing something like this once a year! It was DJ’s idea to do Pittsburgh, and I’m so glad he chose it. It was so much fun, and I really enjoyed the city!!

My mom and Pete arrived May 25th to take over for the next few days! Quinn has a little kitchen/ice cream stand in the garage, and when they arrived she gave my mom and Pete these cones below respectively.

The difference in the amount of ice cream Grampy got….. vs Grammy only received a chocolate cone with no ice cream and strawberry topping lol. We all were cracking up.

We took off on our roughly two hour trip to Pittsburgh knowing she probably wouldn’t miss us much with Grammy and Grampy holding down the fort.

We checked into the Fairmont in Pittsburgh and took in the awesome view of the city. This hotel had the perfect location- we were able to walk everywhere and only Ubered once when it was raining.

They were all doing just fine without us!

We spotted a rare Tesla Cybertruck parked on the street. I know nothing about cars, but DJ said it was a cool sighting, so thought I would share!

We had so much going on prior to this trip that I planned absolutely zilch except one dinner for while we were there. Usually I have our itinerary planned out, at least for meals, but it was fun to dive into this trip more spontaneously. We decided to walk around and find a spot for appetizers. We first walked to the Strip District and found City Winery, the perfect spot to tide us over.

We ordered some Sauvignon blanc, truffle fries and duck tacos. The fries were terrific, but the duck tacos were so overly salted (and I usually go overboard on the salt!). I’m pretty sure it was an accident because it was crazy salty, so we didn’t eat much of those but we destroyed the fries.

We walked around Strip District while deliberating where to go for our main meal.

We finally settled on DiAnoias Eatery.

The wait was a bit crazy, but for good reason- this place is a famous little Italian joint in town.

By the time we got our food it was dark out, but we relished the fact that we were eating a patio dinner at 9 pm and out on the town!

Below is their fresh bread with oil and parmigiano reggiano. This is not your average house bread. It was delicious!!

I enjoyed a Caesar salad and had some of DJ’s Cacio e Pepe.

The cacio was good, but we agreed that Emmer & Rye’s in Austin has yet to be beat!

What I remember the most about that dinner is how much we laughed. It was so nice and the trip was off to the best start.

We had these grand plans of going out somewhere for dessert and a nightcap, but the thought of sleep won, and we turned in after dinner.

May 26th when we woke up it was quite foggy but a comfortable temperature.

I went to the workout room and got in a great workout while watching Southern Charm. That’s my in-between-shows-show.

After getting ready, we headed to Sally Ann’s for breakfast.

Such a fun little spot that was designed for a millennial like myself who is a sucker for neon signs and quirky, colorful decor.

We ordered an almond croissant to split and we both agreed it was our favorite part of the meal!!!

This cappuccino was so good I was still talking about it the next day.

DJ got a Benedict, and I had their avocado toast. Definitely good, but that croissant was the star.

Miss Quinn was having a blast back at home.

We set off to explore the city. First we walked to the Point State Park Fountain.

Then we hiked across one of the “Three Sisters” (one of the yellow bridges) to make our way to the Duquesne incline!

I had no idea how to say “Duquesne” – I pronounced it like Du-kez-knee, lol. Thank goodness DJ knew how to say it correctly before I walked all over the city saying it like a total tourist 🤪.

The incline was a cool way to see the city from a different view and there was a lot of history in the station too.

They had a Memorial Day ceremony at the top of the incline when we arrived that was really beautifully done.

There are a few restaurants at the top we would have definitely checked out if we weren’t full from brunch. Other than that it seems to be mostly businesses and such.

After taking in the views we headed back down the incline.

And I will share Part 2 here soon!!

🫶🏻,

Mackenzie

Geneva on the Lake!

Good morning everyone. I want to take a moment to say thank you for the prayers, love, kind words and emails we received on the last post. I’m grateful for this corner of the internet, and it genuinely helped reading your words and stories of encouragement.

2024 has not been a walk in the park. It’s undoubtedly been one of the most difficult periods of my life. I debated if I even wanted to recap the last few months because of how challenging it would be emotionally. However, I decided I want to stare this stretch of time straight in its face and dare it to be only bad. Because it wasn’t. There was so much good amongst the challenges and heartbreak. If I’ve learned anything through blogging for almost eight years, it’s that taking a moment to reflect instills gratitude more than anything. I have allowed myself to grieve, and I will continue to I’m sure, but I don’t want to neglect the wonderful memories that have also occurred.

So let’s do it shall we?! Let’s kick this off with celebrating my friend, Clair’s, 30th birthday at Geneva on the Lake! (P.S. This was pre-pregnancy). It was a beautiful drive up, and I listened to the audio book, Lessons in Chemistry.

Geneva on the Lake is absolutely stunning. I couldn’t believe this gem is actually only about an hour up the road! There’s a hotel or modern, comfortable cabins you can choose to stay in. We opted to stay in one of the cabins.

Once we arrived, we put our stuff in our cabin then headed to the lobby of the hotel to await the shuttle to take us to wine country.

Deej was holding down the fort and took Quinn on her own adventures!

Once the shuttle arrived, we found a spot in the back and were off to explore Ohio’s Wine Country. My video of the vineyards was quite different than what I used to take in Napa, but give these little vines till the summer, and they’ll come back to life like the rest of us!

It was a gorgeous day with blue skies and lots of sunshine!

We couldn’t help but laugh at the taxidermy on one of the winery’s walls. Does it get more Ohio than that? Lol!

We visited three wineries: Kosicek Vineyards, Debonné Vineyards and Ferrante. We enjoyed all of them! Kosicek was smaller and had more of a “stop in for a drink with a friend” vibe. Debonné had more food options and a brewery portion. And my favorite, Ferrante, had an Italian flair with a great menu and the best wine of the three in my opinion! We had such a ball chatting, sipping, and snacking on a delicious charcuterie board and artichoke dip.

These last few pictures are from Ferrante. I’d love to come back here in the summer to enjoy the patio!

We had appetizers to tide us over but were still ready to chow by the time we got back around 5 pm.

We went to Horizons, the restaurant on site, and we had the most serene views of the sun setting over Lake Erie as we enjoyed our meals.

I was craving a burger (per usual), and it did not disappoint !

Birthday girl!

After dinner, we thought we would have an uneventful evening, watch some Bridesmaids and go to sleep. Well our plans were… (looking for the right word)… interrupted when we got back to the cottage. When we opened the door we heard a loud thud inside. Walking into one of the bedrooms we saw the crawl space in the ceiling had been MOVED BACK. On the sides it looked like there was a tiny bit of dried blood. We booked it the heck out of there into the cold and called the front desk. They immediately sent a maintenance guy to come check it out, and he said sometimes the crawl space is left open in the winter to make sure the pipes don’t freeze. The thud was probably just the wood shifting from the door pressure. Using a flashlight, he scanned the attic area and reassured us no one was up there. He asked if there was anything else he could do before he left and without even thinking I asked him to check the closets LOL. He so kindly did, but there we were, grown women with children essentially asking someone to check under our bed for monsters 😅. For the “blood”- probably just paint? After he left, we still felt a bit spooked, but nothing like Bridesmaids to lighten the mood!

Before going to sleep, we all piled into the same room leaving the extra room with the crawl space abandoned. Just in case.

The chaos of the night before was placated by the ethereal morning. The frost was thick, but the heavenly glow of the sunrise was plenty of a distraction from the chill.

We spent time admiring the scene, said our goodbyes then headed out. I grabbed a coffee and breakfast from Dunkin for the road to enjoy on the way home. It was such a fun trip. I can’t wait to go back there!!

Thanks for reading 😊.

🤍,

Mackenzie

Grieving after Miscarriage

Hi, everyone. It’s with an extremely heavy, devastated and broken heart I share I miscarried our second baby girl this past week at seven, almost eight weeks, pregnant. We are hurting so much. I knew if this ever happened, it would be very difficult, but I could never have anticipated the grief we are walking through. We have been met with so much support and love. I am so grateful for our family and friends. And for DJ, especially DJ. He has been my rock despite his own deep sorrow.

Everything feels so difficult. Everything feels meaningless and small. It feels wrong that flowers are blossoming in our front yard, I’m not sure why, it just does. I hate that I can crank the shower as hot as I want or have no limit on coffee. I hate that I can lift heavy objects without thinking twice. I hate that I had to battle my way back to fertility just to lose it all, lose her, in a moment. How was I pregnant this time last week and I’m not now?

Quinn has been our source of joy through this. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her. She is keeping us going, keeping us laughing and being playful even when it feels impossible. I appreciate what a miracle she is more than ever. We are so blessed with her. I just hate that she lost a sibling that we have been dreaming about for her (and us) for so long. DJ said on the way home from the hospital that she has a personality to be the take charge, older, nurturing sister even if she’s a few years apart. I so agree, and I can see her relishing the role of being able to really help and take care of a younger sibling whenever and if God blesses us with another.

While I am angry and working through many emotions, I’m holding onto the hope that God will make something beautiful out of this heartbreaking situation. My biggest lesson this year has been trusting him, and that I’m choosing to do even though I don’t understand at all. I have to hold onto hope, because I don’t know what else to hold onto.

Right now, I’m just asking for your prayers. It feels like things won’t ever get better, but from people who have gone through this, they promise it will.

We love you and miss you so much, little one 🤍.

30th Birthday Fun!

Hey hey! How is your week going?

I’m stoked to share about my 30th birthday girls’ weekend in Cleveland today! DJ soaked up some quality time with Quinnie while I met up with my some of my closest friends downtown. Before I left, DJ gifted me these super fun 90s games to take with me! Also, Quinn and I have been having fun with the Lisa Frank stickers…. and where did he find a Tamagotchi?! 🤩

We started the evening of January 13th by meeting at Heck’s in Ohio City. A couple reasons I chose this spot- first, I have been craving burgers like nobody’s business, and they are known to have good ones. Second, the Browns were playing, and they have TVs.

Excuse the cheese for a moment, but it was so special being surrounded by my friends that have been by my side for decades. Halston was even able to fly in for the weekend which meant the world!! Unfortunately, Clair was sick, but we planned a makeup party a couple weekends later since her birthday was late January 🥳.

Ok back to Heck’s! We started with the truffle pierogies, and they did not disappoint!

We also had rosemary-garlic fries with garlic aioli. Yum!

And heck, while we were at it- we tried lobster croquettes! So. Good.

I was Hungry, with a capital H, so I also ordered the orange and beet salad- wow, that citrusy combo with the goat cheese was *chef’s kiss*.

And the main event- I ordered their BrieBerry burger with Brie cheese, bacon and a blueberry-ancho sauce. It was easily one of the best burgers I’ve ever had and definitely satisfied my craving.

Here’s a peak at the inside of the restaurant. When we left it had totally filled up.

We stayed at the Hilton on Lakeside Avenue East. We knew this was a great spot to stay since Melissa had her wedding accommodations here!

They ribbed me a bit about the size of my luggage for one night. I always say you have to have ✨options✨.

After we got unloaded for the night, we headed up to the hotel’s rooftop bar, Bar 32, to sip drinks, chat and view the gorgeous skyline.

There was live music playing, and it was such a fun vibe.

After about an hour, we headed back to the room and got ready for the evening. Also this is another reason why I had so luggage- have to have snacks!!

We then hit the night life! First stop- Lost Social in Cleveland. Melissa had an in for us here, so we were able to get a table and bottle of champagne on the house. (Thank you, thank you again, Melissa!).

This place was incredible. We had so much fun. My biggest concern going out on the town was feeling, well… thirty, lol. But the crowd here felt our age and the music was geared toward us millennials.

We sipped, we danced, we laughed. It was a blast.

We then went upstairs to check out the Barley House. It was definitely a more casual feel but also soo much fun.

Lastly, we walked across town (in what felt like sub zero temps-brrrr) to Good Night John Boy– ok now that’s when I felt too old. It was definitely overflowing with young 20-somethings. We took that as our cue to go back to the hotel. We ordered some delicious pizza, dug into the snacks and played the 90s themed Cards Against Humanity DJ gifted me along with Telestrations After Dark. Not sure I’ve ever laughed so hard. I could barely breathe.

The next day (aka a few hours later), we took in the beautiful view from the hotel before heading to brunch.

We had brunch at Jaja on January 14th. No, actually… We did not just have brunch at Jaja- we relished, enjoyed and savored brunch at Jaja.

This place was spectacular. A MUST try. Cleveland has come such a long way in its food scene from when we lived here over a decade ago. I’ve been so impressed! When you arrive, you check in on the first floor and then hostess calls up to the second floor to alert the staff you’ve arrived. Then you take an elevator up- it all feels like you are getting into some secret club.

There was no detail unattended to. The velvet chair, the foliage and the extremely kind and attentive staff… it was a brunch I won’t forget!

Oh and I can’t forget to share how they serve the cappuccinos! How cute are the little sugar cubes.

The brunch a buffet style, but there are still a few items you can order from the menu too.

This brunch had pretty much everything you could want.

I mean where else have you seen a brunch buffet with chicken wings on a waffle?! There was even a meat carving station.

The pork belly Benedict may have been my favorite. Although the first time I was at the buffet the egg slipped off my plate into the large serving dish of cocktail sauce 🫠. I let the staff know right away and they were so sweet about it. Another year older but still clumsy as ever!

Here’s the fun bar area too. They serve dinner as well!

I am so so grateful for that weekend and my amazing friends!!! My heart was beyond full.

I couldn’t wait to get back to DJ, Quinn and Moose to finish celebrating my bday weekend with them. That was the longest I’d been away from Quinn, so I was dying to have her back in my arms 💕💕.

Thanks for reading!

<3,

Mackenzie

It’s a Love Story! (Melissa’s Version).

Hey friends!! I’m jumping ahead my other recaps to share about a very fun bachelorette party I attended last weekend.

One of my best friends since diapers, Melissa, is getting married in just a couple weeks! I’m honored to be part of her wedding as a bridesmaid, and July 22nd we had her bachelorette party! It was actually a combined bachelor/bachelorette party. I’ve never been to a combined party before, but it was so great for the whole bridal party to get to know one another before the big day. We laughed a LOT.

Melissa is the biggest Taylor Swift fan I know, without question. So, when it came to the party it was no question it would be Taylor Swift themed (The Lover album to be specific!). She requested we all dress as a different Taylor Swift Era- I was Folklore (probably my personal favorite album), and I found a duped Grammy dress for that album.

Brooke, the maid of honor, knocked the party out of the park! I got there early to help set up and couldn’t get over all the cute touches she brought along.

She baked these cupcakes below and brought along homemade frosting we helped swirl on top. I adored the little butterflies she found for these too.

Everyone brought along different sides, and everything came together deliciously and beautifully!

Oh andddd we had Chick-Fil-A nuggets- yum!

It was all soo yummy. One of the bridesmaids made a Buffalo chicken dip I think I’ve craved every day since 😅.

Brooke also put together these sweet gift bags for each bridesmaid 🫶🏻.

And would a bachelorette party be complete without a photo backdrop?!

One of the fun ideas Brooke had was to have each of us bring a drink that represented our relationship with Melissa. I brought lemonade and Mike’s Hard Lemonade since we did lemonade stands together as kids 🥰.

Here are all the outfits together!

I think from left to right it’s Country Taylor, Fearless, Red, 1989, Reputation, Lover and Folklore.

We played fun games like “How well do you know the bride” and chatted lots. I just love this group of ladies!

In the gift bags, we all got shirts that said “Bridesmaid’s version” and Melissa’s said “It’s me, Hi, I’m the Bride It’s Me”.

Brooke also gave me an extra pair of the Lover sunglasses to bring home for Quinnie 🥰.

It was such a fun day and party! Can’t wait for the wedding in just a couple weeks!!

Questions for you:

– Are you a Taylor Swift fan?

– Who is your favorite music artist?

<3,

Mackenzie

Reflections after (almost) one year of being a mom:

Hey hey!! I have been chipping away at this post for the past year, and even then, I realize if I try to sum up all my first year mom thoughts, we’d be here all day- so I’ll just share a few! Warning: this is total stream of consciousness and is about to be all over the place!

Overall: I have never felt more sure and secure in a purpose in my life. I LOVE being Quinn’s mom. It’s also an emotional rollercoaster- it’s a real trip how many conflicting emotions can exist so strongly at once- joy, unimaginable love, guilt, fear, bliss, concern, self-doubt, gratitude, exhaustion- the list goes on!!

Body image: So this topic is an interesting one. I think “bounce back” culture is absolutely ridiculous (how is it even a thing?!), and I put zero pressure on myself to look a certain way or to be a certain weight after having Quinn. Weight is actually quite arbitrary for me personally too- I don’t think I’ve talked about this, but to even have a chance at pregnancy, I had to gain about 15/20 lbs. So while getting back to “pre-pregnancy” weight happened pretty quickly and naturally for me, my pre-pregnancy weight was higher than my usual weight for a long time prior to that. I wasn’t my healthiest at that prior weight, so I have no desire to go back to it. I’m just really grateful to my body for carrying and growing my girl, birthing her and then sustaining her post birth. I just want to focus on being my healthiest for Quinn (which for me does not equate to my thinnest), so I can be energized, strong and a good role model for her.

Body recovery: I learned recovery extends far beyond that 6 week checkup mark!

Identity: I have heard people say they lose their identity often as a mom. I definitely can see how people can say that with the total redirection of energy and focus on another human in a way you’ve never experienced. However, I personally want to shift that common narrative to seeing it as my identity has been expanded, enriched. Being Quinn’s mom, as you are likely well aware, is a massive part of my identity. And while the attention I once gave elsewhere may be shortened, I still have tried to foster those other parts of myself. Going into year #2, I think those slivers of time devoted to hobbies, friendships, exercise, time with DJ etc. will change too as Quinn’s needs change. The part of my identity that I want to nourish and foster most is my faith. I haven’t prioritized spending time in prayer, reading the Bible or attending Church like I used to. That is definitely going to be a big priority for our family entering into this next year!

Sleep: I didn’t realize how babies are all different in terms of sleep! I felt initially like a failure given Quinn wasn’t a traditionally “good sleeper”, but I’ve learned the idea of this aspirational perfect sleeping baby is more of a societal (and somewhat unnatural) expectation, and is many times pure luck (especially early on). Plus she had reflux pretty bad which I think was the root of her sleep issues for a bit. Anyway, I now know the fact that she doesn’t sleep through the night is totally ok, and she will get there when it’s right for her. I’m here for those cuddles and night feeds as long as she needs. While writing this, I’m oddly getting some great sleep even with the wake-ups because I often go to sleep not long after she does (I’m usually asleep by 9 pm and up at 6 am). In the beginning though, I realized how important sleep was when I was screening borderline for postpartum depression going on pretty much 1-2 hours until we made some changes to our sleep situation that I believe saved me/us.

Breastfeeding: I joke that in the miracle that is pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding, my one gripe about it all is I have never been hungrier and never have had less time to eat 😅. Forget pregnancy, this breastfeeding hunger is UNREAL. Overall, I’m grateful to have had a great experience breastfeeding, as I know everyone’s journey with that can be luck of the draw too with so many factors at play. And even though I have had a smooth ride overall, I have still shed tears while fighting with a pump that wouldn’t work and when we’ve had to dump/accidentally spilled milk (countless times) for one reason or another. Whoever said “don’t cry over spilled milk” surely never breastfed! Giving up dairy and soy has been pretty tough due to Quinn’s intolerances (although we live in a time of excellent substitutions). I’d do it all over again for her, but I cannot wait to order a greasy, cheesy pizza again. DJ and I joke if she gives me attitude, I can pull the “I gave up cheese for you!” card. I say we joke, but I 100% know I will use that at some point 😄.

Mom guilt is really really intense. I’ve never experienced anything like it. It’s been a challenging but important journey in learning how to be gracious with myself as a mom and as a person. I’ve also experienced tons of consistent guilt over not being able to give Moose the same attention I did prior to Quinn being born. I’m still working on finding that balance.

I thought I was going to be a type A mom- with a strict schedule and such? I am definitely not as much as I expected, only about certain things. There’s not really any set schedule here right now; I just follow her cues as the day goes.

As much of a homebody I am, it’s so important for both me and Quinn to get out of the house to elevate our moods! Mainly getting outside at least once a day for a walk has made a huge difference.

I’m convinced we have a black hole in our home that eats up all the Pacis. Where do they all go?!

I realize how easy it could be to compare milestones/ways of parenting, etc. I have learned to just be entirely focused on doing what is best for our family and tuning out the white noise. I listen to my maternal instinct more than I expected; it’s a powerful thing and sometimes “goes against the grain”, which I’ve made peace with, despite knowing others may judge my decisions.

Thank goodness for Google.

But also….Google is the WORST 🙃.

Trial and error is the name of the game!

Pretty much every cliche I have heard about parenting is true.

The whole mom brain thing is very real 🥴.

I’m terrified of anything ever happening to Quinn, but I know I can’t keep her in bubble wrap. I gotta give that one to God any time that general sense of worry sets in.

DJ and I started dating when we were 15/16 years old. Now venturing into this season of parenthood together, I’ve seen a whole new “why” behind God bringing us together as a couple. I am so grateful for the way he balances me out, calms me down and is my true support every single day. The way we have prioritized our relationship has shifted- it isn’t many date nights or spontaneous trips out of town right now. Yet I’ve grown so deeply in my respect and awe of him as a Dad and partner. He’s been the definition of supportive in every way. We’ve also faced new challenges in this season of parenthood. DJ is not a fighter, but I can be- so in my moments of low patience and exhaustion, I’m really working on not getting worked up, especially in front of Quinn. I want to maintain respectful conversation about frustrations without it coming out in my tone of voice or getting visibly angry- so this is something I’m working on.

This has been the richest, most beautiful, joyful year, despite the difficult moments. I’m doing my best to hold onto every second, but it’s true they do go by fast. I asked another mom recently-“Everyone says to enjoy every minute because it goes by fast, and I am trying to, but how do I actively make sure I’m treasuring it all?”. And she gave the best advice – she just said “just make a lot of memories”. I loved that, so simple, true and actionable. Being present & making memories is going to be central to how I approach Year #2 (and the rest of #1!).

As I’ve heard said before, my heart is now outside my chest, in the form of a soon-to-be walking, adventurous, curious, giggling, chunky legged, happy, teething machine- and I am so honored God chose me and DJ to be her parents ❤️.

Pictures from Rachael D Photography

Favorite Quotes from Educated!

Educated was easily one of the most well-written, gripping stories I have ever read. I had a hard time narrowing down my favorite quotes- but these were definitely some of them! I highlighted a good portion of this book just out of pure admiration of Tara Westover’s insightful, vivid and beautiful writing. Others were the power of the words- the way she was able to put universal experiences into words in a genius way.

“It would be past dusk by then- that moment just before night sets in, when the landscape is visible only as darkness and lighter darkness, and you feel the world around you more than you see it.” (Ch. 1, p. 7).

“It’s a tranquility born of sheer immensity; it calms with its very magnitude, which renders the merely human of no consequence.” (Ch. 3, p. 27).

“but the notion that a person could be functional, lucid, persuasive, and something could still be wrong, had never occurred to me.” (Ch. 3, p. 29)

“Dad lived in fear of time. He felt it stalking him.” (Ch. 6, p. 55)

“The skill I was learning was a crucial one, the patience to read things I could not yet understand.” (Ch. 6, p. 62)

“To admit uncertainty is to admit to weakness, to powerlessness, and to believe in yourself despite both. It is a frailty, but in this frailty there is a strength: the courage to live in your own mind, and not in someone else’s”. (Ch. 22, p. 197).

“Not knowing for certain, but refusing to give way to those who claim certainty, was a privilege I had never allowed myself. My life was narrated for me by others. Their voices were forceful, emphatic, absolute. It had never occurred to me that my voice might be as strong as theirs.” (Ch. 22, p. 197)

“He had defined me to myself, and there’s no greater power than that.” (Ch. 23, p. 199).

“His voice was gentle, and that gentleness was cruel.” (Ch. 23, p. 200).

“Curiosity is a luxury reserved for the financially secure:…” (Ch. 23, p. 203).

“I began to experience the most powerful advantage of money: the ability to think of things besides money.” (Ch. 24, p. 207).

“I knew what it was to have a misconception corrected- a misconception of such magnitude that shifting it shifted the world.” (Ch. 28, p. 238).

“I could tolerate any form of cruelty better than kindness”. (Ch. 28, p. 240).

“I felt exposed by the elegance and yet somehow made invisible by it”. (Ch. 28, p. 241).

“This monster child stalked me for a month before I found a logic to banish her: that I was likely insane. If I was insane, everything could be made to make sense. If I was sane, nothing could. The logic seemed damning. It was also a relief. I was not evil; I was clinical.” (Ch. 35, p. 294).

“When I was a child, I waited for my mind to grow, for my experiences to accumulate and my choices to solidify, taking shape into the likeness of a person.” (Ch. 40, p. 327).

“But vindication has no power over guilt. No amount of anger or rage directed at others can subdue it, because guilt is never about them. Guilt is the fear of one’s own wretchedness. It has nothing to do with other people.” (Ch. 40, p. 327).

Have you read Educated? Would love to discuss it more!

<3,

Mackenzie