Hanging on by a Med


Pull up a chair, let’s have a quick chat over some morning toast and coffee!


Yes, yes- quite different from my strawberries and cream toast I have each morning. Instead of strawberries I used bananas since I was having calf cramps last night and added Evoke muesli for a little crunchy pizzzazzz.

Currently, I am sitting at a Starbucks before work trying to finish up this post (it’s a classroom day so I slept in until 5:30!). Unfortunately, I had to betray Peet’s because it’s further than the Bucks. Buttt you all know where my loyalty resides.


I also cracked up how they spelled my name. He didn’t even attempt the ending. He just gave up. LOL


Also…… Sprouts has another bag….


I haven’t pulled the trigger yet. What do you guys think? DJ says I have far too many grocery bags already…. but…….. I don’t have THIS bag. Help me justify it, please!

So let’s see…. last week I worked Wednesday- Sunday every day. It was the first time I worked all through the weekend and it was a bit trippy! (When I was off Mon/Tues, everyone else was heading back to work!).

DJ had off and spent time with his family over the weekend. I’m so glad he had that time but also quite jealous- I miss everyone so much!! Thursday was technically “off” and since I was not required to actually go to the hospital, I stayed cozied up in my home and got a ton of studying done for EKGs (with the occasion Fine Cooking skimmin’ break- gotta whet those cooking ideas!).


I do have to mention Saturday though- I had a legitimate anxiety attack at work. I have only had maybe three full on attacks in my life- and this was one of the worst. It was around 1:30 in the afternoon and I hadn’t had a chance to take my lunch, so I bet low blood sugar catapulted the issue. I think it was just a rough moment too.. I am thoroughly convinced this is the most difficult/stressful time of my life, perhaps ever, but the support is phenomenal so I know (I hope) I can make it through. Some people drop out of the program at the six month program- I am just praying I make it through. I will give it my all. God wouldn’t call me here if he didn’t have plans.

Also- although It was a rough day, but the next day was 100% better. I’m finding that for every bad day there will be a good day. My preceptor told me I am right where I need to be- I am just unfairly hard on myself and I don’t forgive myself very easily (even for the smallest mistakes). This whole journey is bringing some serious self-reflection to the surface. I come home, even from good days, and the wheels just turn, turn, turn. I can’t turn my mind off. I wake up in hot sweats and start thinking about things I may have forgot to chart, conversations, teaching I may have accidentally omitted, etc. I have a system that works, and my to-do lists, but as a new grad, it’s hard to cover every single base (hence the preceptorship). I’ll be find one moment and then my heart is racing over these thoughts that creep up. I feel better once I’m in the hospital though… it’s the down time- I drive myself nuts!

But in those moments I try to celebrate the small victories: The family who thanked me, the patient who told me I was their favorite nurse (seriously melted my heart), advocating for my patient and the doctor taking my thoughts into account, becoming more comfortable with my skills….. there are victories and rather than focusing so much on my mistakes and failures, I have to choose to celebrate the victories.


I pray, I breathe, I am reminded that this is normal.

I actually didn’t intend to share that. But sometimes ya just start writing and things come out!

Anywho, this week was a tapering week for running, so I had some nice, easy leisure runs outside. When I get stressed out I like to run, run, run……hence, tapering this week was hard for me!!! I was craving long runs- but had to limit myself. However, the weather was GORGEOUS, and those short spurts outside helped elevate my spirits for sure!

img_4069-1img_4076-1img_4075-1img_4061-1DJ and I both had Monday off. I studied most of the day and DJ caught up on some MUCH needed sleep. We deemed Monday night a date night! I was craving sushi- needing some serious comfort food!

We decided to try Pacific Catch in Campbell.


^^ I love incorporating parts of my “business casual” shopping into my everyday outfits, like these heels!

When we sat down, our waitress was a doll and brought us out samples of Hawaiian Poke! I don’t think I’ve ever had poke, but it was very tasty!

DJ ordered their fish tacos and said they were pretty decent!


I tried their inside out roll (spicy tuna over California roll). It was ok- it was fine enough, but there is WAY better sushi in other places in the area. But overall, it was a fun place and still a tasty experience.


I also loved how themed-out the restaurant was. They had these “sea glass” bottles as water serving bottles—–it was funny though because DJ and I thought everyone was drinking Grey Goose vodka when we walked in, lol.


They even used the bottles as hanging light fixtures!


We then went to Santana Row, walked around a while, and then stopped by Safeway for the necessities for a good, chill date night! (Ice cream was already at home, of course ;)). Also- this wine was on sale and I’ve never tried it before. It’s called BV Coastal Estates and man oh man- it is good!


I was feeling pretty stressed out on Tuesday. I went for a run in the morning and DJ said he was craving some good pancakes. After some research, he found that Uncle-John’s Pancake House in Campbell was supposed to be some of the best! We decided to give it a go!


We both LOVED the whole ambiance- very 50/60s diner-esque feel (which makes sense considering they started the restaurant chain in 1958!!!!). I’m sure it’s been renovated since- it was pristinely clean and the staff were jovial and welcoming!


Their coffee was the BOMB!


I ordered their egg white veggie omelette (yum!), and DJ, of course, ordered their pancakes with a side of eggs and bacon.


The verdict: Very good pancakes, but not the best. Now, if you like somewhat fluffier pancakes, you would love them! DJ loves the thin with the crispy buttery-caramelized outside. (He claims The Bellagio in Las Vegas are setting the standard).


The rest of the day I studied my EKGs and prepped for the rest of the meals for the week. From monopoly, I had $2.00 off a large deli roasted chicken, so I grabbed that for DJ. I also made some calrose rice, broccoli, and bread that he could throw onto a plate in the evenings (if he was back for dinner). I stocked up on sweet potato and salad ingredients, as well as this cauliflower lemon piccata which I have been craving lately! It has cauliflower steak, capers, shallots, lemon juice, and is cooked in white wine. I add a bit of basil on top because I think it complements the lemon well!


The last two nights DJ was home earlier than expected! I was super happy I could get a hug in before hitting the hay.

Wednesday until now has been a non-stop whirlwind. BUT tonight my mom flies in TONIGHT for the marathon on Sunday! WOOHOO!!!!! I can hardly wait.

Oh and below is a snap shot of a breath-taking view I had on the way to work. It’s hard getting up at 4 or 5 almost everyday, but the fact that the sun is coming up earlier and setting later has been helping immensely!


Blog Birthdays: 

Happy Birthday to Sijo from Sijo Punathil Photography on April 30th!

He has some of the most enthralling, captivating photography I have ever seen (I hyperlinked one of my favorites above!). I hope your birthday is spectacular, Sijo!

Hope everyone has the best weekend…. and before I go I just must remind you…..


If you don’t get the reference, I’m probably too old.

xo <3


47 thoughts on “Hanging on by a Med

  1. Hey Mack, great to see your gorgeous smile and yum array of foods on your blog, it’s been a while. Sorry to hear about your anxiety attack, they can be so crippling can’t they? Have a fabulous weekend lovely lady. 💕

    1. Awww, Meg!! It’s so true, right?! There is always a silver lining – we just have to choose to find it!! And OH MY LANTA- that sounds absolutely AMAZING ! 😋😋😋 is that a new frappe ?!

  2. Lovely to see you pop up in my reader again! I’m sorry to hear about your attack but you’re right, there are plans for you and if you weren’t capable of doing this work, you wouldn’t be doing it! Also, I’m totally jealous of all the food you ate this week…

    1. Natalie – you’re comments ALWAYS are incredibly genuine and put the biggest smile on my face. Thank you tons, love. I can’t tell you how encouraging this was! And we must get together if you are ever in the area to enjoy the yums! Have a beautiful week, dear! 💕

  3. Love your detailed blogs of your life. Anxiety is bad, but I have panic attacks, where I can blackout, and they can last up to 3 days. Pray you never get them.

    1. Aww Susie!! I am so so sorry to hear that- it’s crazy how anxiety can completely consume us. I hope you never have to go through that again! I really appreciate you taking the time to read. It means so much to me 💕 how are you?

  4. Hahahhaa, every time someone mentions May in my head I’m like “It’s gonna be May!” and it’s driven Jesse mad because I’ll say “Do you know what’s happening on Monday?” and he’s like “work?” and I’m like “no! It’s gonna be mayyyy” 😛

    1. LOL!!!!! YESSS 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 this is so great – I told dj April 30th was JT day and he totally didn’t follow. They just aren’t quite on our level, girlfriend 😜😜 Hope you are having a beautiful weekend, love !!!! I so appreciate you stopping in!!!!!

  5. I am so sorry to hear about your anxiety attack but I’m super glad to hear the next day was better and definitely proves a good day is always waiting for us! Your date night on Monday looked lovely! Despite the fact I am a massive foodie, I have never tried sushi and your pictures once again make me know I need to set a date aside for some sushi loving. Have a brilliant week <3

    1. Awww thank you sweet Kat!!!!! I can’t wait to share this weekend with you all! It was 100% better. And GIRL! You have to try it! I know it seems a bit scary but it’s so yum! Start with the California roll or a tempura roll! They are so yummy and not too heavy on the raw fish! Hope you have a great rest of your week! 💕 any big plans for the weekend?!

      1. Eee I can’t wait to read it! I have my last uni exam next week- after that I will celebrate with sushi! And I’ll definitely go for your recommendations! Thank you! Just revision haha! Hope you have a fab weekend! <3

      2. YAYYY! Oh my goodness I can’t wait to hear what you think- you either love it or you don’t… so have a back up plan to celebrate if you fall on the latter end of that 😉 You go girl! I know you will do amazing on your exam!!

  6. Hi mackensie, its Sunday afternoon, back from Church, lunch eaten and time to put my feet up over coffee with my Dear Friend in CA! Wow you slept in until 5.30 am, you must feel so rested! The starbucks guy did give up, How could he with a sweet person like you to serve. DJ , you cannot turn down your wife getting the tomatoes bag, she is such an awesome friend and will look good with this on her elbow! I am so sorry for your attack, Nurses need to have better conditions to get nourishment in them to keep going. It is stressful now but I am praying you find the will to keep going, God needs caring people like you around to tend to his people when they are sick. I love the small victories you have. the family, and the favorite nurse patient, ( I can tell you will be many peoples favorite as time goes on!) Prayers help us through , I pray everyweek day morning in the car for a lot of different people (you are never too far away) Your nature and floral photos are georgous as usual! Looking good Dear outside pacific catch, I love the blue bottles! The pancake house looks so nice, and its good when the staff appreciate you. Its good DJ was home early to give you 2 a bit more husband wife time. It is a hard period in your lives that will settle down in coming months and years hopefully. I hope you are having some good Mom time and the marathon goes well. What a beautiful sunrise you took. It gets us in a better mood seeing the sun. have a great rest of the weekend and May will be here real real soon! Hugs, Mackensie , Love Terri xoxo.

    1. Hi Terri! I hope your week has been a beautiful one 🙂 It sounds like you had a great Sunday ! Heheh thanks for being on my side with the bag 😉 I’m definitely gonna pass that on to DJ! It was such a hard day, but it is getting better! I had such an amazing day yesterday where I felt more competent ! Thank you for your IMMENSELY encouraging words and prayers. If only you knew how much they mean!!! For dj and I – many people have assured us that this is a season so hearing this from you is further confirmation!!! I cannot wait to share ALLLLL about the weekend ! It was AMAZING and did good for my emotional state 😉 . I hope you have a beautiful weekend, Terri! XOXOX

  7. Wishes from far away friend! Thanks Mack. It feels so good to hear from you.☺ I celebrated my birthday with my wife. I was too busy to open my blog these days. And I couldn’t give you an instant reply. How’s your life? I could see you have made so many friends here. Wish you a nice week!

    1. Aw of course, Sijo! I am totally in the same boat as you- so no worries, friend! I’m glad you had a nice birthday.. hopefully you were able to relax in all the busyness!! And life has been a bit of a rollercoaster- I started the nursing job and it’s been intense, but at the same time incredibly rewarding. How about you?! I hope you have a great weekend!

      1. Going great with my job. I’m typing this at my work hours . Wish you have a nice week, Mack and nursing is a great job. Wish you good luck!

  8. Ohhh yay!!! I finally get to catch up! A little spark lights up every time I see your name while I scroll through my reader feed! First of all YES to the bag, I for some reason love that one lol Santana Row is what everyone (that’s traveled to my companies headquarters) says to go visit because I guess its the closest thing to civilization in Santa Clara lol Whichhh omg *sigh* we may have some technical difficulties with the plan but per usual I will keep you updated. But anyways I need to get back to you!!! I’m absolutely gawking at your cuteness in your date night outfit!!! I love restaurants that leave bottles of water on the table for you (too bad it wasn’t wine though 😉 ) but I love how they utilized them as light fixtures too, totally cute esp for the ambiance! I’m SOOOOO anxious to hear how your race went! Please update us again soon!!! Stay strong with the job girlfriend you’ll make it through!!!! There can’t be flowers without the rain!! <3 <3

    xo, JJ

    1. JJ!!!!! Girl, I’m in near tears I’m so behind on blogging. Like- can we all just quit our day jobs and blog 24-7 because that sounds pretty great right now! Haha. Your comments always ALWAYS make my day! AND YES YES YES YES! I LOOOVE the row. You (or WE) will have to go. I need you to send me those dates again! My schedule got changed around a bit, but I should still be able to find some free time in that stretch! DAWW thanks girl- that shirt is from like my middle school days, but I can’t seem to get rid of it!!! And RIGHT?! I wish them bottles were wine, you know me well!- just wait until my next post. It’s wine in like every other photo. LOL. I had my first day off since Sunday (yes since running the marathon- I was supposed to have Tuesday off to rest but it didn’t happen), BUT I am almost done with the race post! Also- no more testing so I can catch up on your blog soon. Watch out, I’m about to spam your notifications like a mad woman. PS. I love what you said at the end there! I have never heard that expression, but I love love love that! Sending big hugs- have a great weekend, love. Thank you tons for stopping by even though I’m totally neglecting blog world right now, UGH. XOXOO

  9. Sprouts bags are the best!! Love them!

    I’m so sorry to hear about the panic attack. I’m glad that things were so much better by the next day, though! Definitely celebrate this small victories! And don’t be afraid to offer yourself grace!

    1. Aren’t they too stinking cute?! I cannot get over them! And thanks so much, Rach. This week was TONS better. And I need to hear that often (about offering myself grace).. I don’t think I realized how unforgiving I was of myself until I started nursing. It’s teaching me tons about my areas of weakness and strength simultaneously. I hope you have a beautiful weekend, love! <3

  10. Oh my dear, I’m so sorry to hear about the panic attack. That must’ve been so scary! I can’t imagine how stressful and hectic your life is right now, but I DO know that you were absolutely made for this job. You have a kind soul and that is so important when dealing with people. You are gonna do great, so keep your chin up 🙂 Also omg those bottles totally look like Grey Goose, haha! Have a wonderful week. I hope this one is 1,000 times better! XOX

    1. Hellllo, m’Dear! Thank you for your sweet, sweet words. You really have the gift of encouragement! You have a way of really convincing me that I do have what it takes- which with all my self-doubt lately means more than you know. I’m sorry I haven’t been by your blog lately, love. Life is so SOO nuts, like crazier than ever. But it should slow down a tiny bit soon and I’ll get all caught up 🙂 I’m eager to know what’s been going on!!! And don’t those bottles totally resemble GG?! I’m so glad you thought that too! This week was SOOOO soooo SOOO much better. Thanks for the sweet love always, XOXO

  11. That meme cracks me up no matter how many times I see it! Glad you’re working through those hard days and celebrating the good days. I’m in a super stressful stage of life right now too where I wake up with anxieties and my brain wont turn off. Lots of praying going on lately! Hope things keep getting better for you!

    1. Hahah right?! I agree- it never got old for me either! Isn’t it crazy how people seem to go through similar seasons at times! I know you have SO much going on, and I will be praying that your anxiety is eased and you are able to sleep in total peace! Have a great, restful, lovely weekend, Heather! <3

  12. Once you get used to everything I think you’ll realize you’re fantastic at your job and it will be less stressful. Right now, with the studies, the newness of everything, and wanting to be great you are having a hard time but before long you’ll settle in. Anyone who cares as much as you do about being a nurse is bound to be the nurse everyone wants!

    1. Awww, Elizabeth!!!! Thank you TONS for your sweet comment. This was immensely encouraging. Plus it made my day seeing your cute little icon pop up in my notifications!! Thank you tons and tons <3 These words mean so much to me. I hope I can be that nurse that never stops caring! Have a great weekend 🙂

      1. You’re very welcome! I can’t imagine how hard all the things you’re doing are but I know you’ll do great. You’re fantastic and God has your back!

  13. I’m so sorry about the anxiety attack. Those are NOT fun. Thank you for sharing, though! I always love how you keep is real! Also, I love how you and DJ get out and about. Jimmy and I need to get out more. You always inspire me. And now I want sushi 🙂

    1. Thank you, Allie!!! For some reason the blog feels like my “Safe place”. Other forms of social media don’t quite feel that way! And girlfriend, get yoself some sushi this weekend! <3 Your comments make my whole day!

  14. Oh, Mack, you are such a gift! I really appreciate how aware you are about judging yourself – that is a step in itself right? 🙂 Anyway, being grateful for the little things …. praying …. breathing … all great tools to help you accept and love yourself. You have so much inner wisdom on how to support yourself, I really applaud you and see that. Take good care, and I hope you got that bag. Seems like you 🙂
    Blessings, and stop by anytime. Love, Debbie

    1. Debbbbie! Wow, this is so timely reading this comment right now !!! Thank YOU for the reminder about being grateful for the little things. I am beyond exhaustion right now, but this is a tremendous reminder to reflect on every blessing… which are numerous. Thank you for your sweet and encouraging words always. You ALWAYS lift my spirit and speak love into my life more than you know! <3

      1. Oh Mack, I am so happy to hear it! Anytime. <3 It's a blessing to know you — you uplift my spirit TOO. Have a wonderful weekend and hopefully an amazing run too. Remember that you are so loved. Big hugs, and take good care — Debbie ps: lots of laughter and joy and warmth your way, Mack. (Nurturing and humor really help me out)

      2. I LOVE this!!!!! Oh wow- this is now one of my new favorites! Thank you for sharing, Debbie! You are a well of encouragement for me!

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