Today I’m Terrified. But…

This is probably pretty elementary for most… but it’s just something that is ringing true in my life today. I know by recording these thoughts I can look back in the future and see how God has been faithful through this time. 

Sitting here on this rainy day, I have an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. When most people jumped for joy ringing in 2017, I had a part of me that dreaded the turn of the year. This may shock many of you… considering I tend to optimistically embrace change in life more often than not.

So why the dread of the New Year? In 2016 a lot of good developed in me as an individual. The person you see is not the person I have always been.  I used to live life with anxiety about the next day, rather than embracing the present. I’m always a work in progress, but I see 2016 as a time of growth. That season of transition , although initially a frustrating waiting period, developed into, perhaps, my favorite time of life. I learned to live a life of balance (well at least more balance), I started embracing life in a way I never have before, I started doing things that brought me joy for their own sake, I traveled, and I found my faith again. Up to that point I let school, studies, schedules, and deadlines dictate my life.

Now, in this first month of 2017, I am faced with boot-shaking interviews, hefty decisions regarding my career path, and the end of this season. I feel like I am grieving a stage of my life that I so loved. I’m afraid that I will give up on the “extra” things that have brought me immense joy- blogging, exploration, baking, reading, writing, traveling, hiking, etc. and get lost in the tangle of the day to day again.

I feel blessed to have the opportunity to be a nurse, don’t get me wrong. I have a zealous passion for this career path, and I truly do feel called to it. I am beyond excited to get started. I even have an interview with my dream employer- I am ecstatic about this opportunity, and truthfully in disbelief that I even made it to this point. At the same time, I know the chances of getting this job are slim, statistically. For a long time I didn’t want to admit that I really want this job. But I can’t deny it: I really want this job.

But… what if I fail? What if I choke in the interview? What if I do get this job, but I disappoint? What if I am not good enough?

Having these thoughts I felt convicted, because, oh, they are so not what our Father in Heaven wants us to be thinking.

Philippians 4:6– “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

Those “what if” thoughts reap anxiety and worry. They are lies. These are seeds of insecurity that are not in line with Christ. 

When I am being fed these lies and begin to believe them, there is only one thing that combat them: TRUTH.

Isaiah 41:10“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

God promises to be with us in these times of life that bring trepidation. He will strengthen us and help us. He will be with me and help me in that interview.

2 Timothy 1:7“For God gave us a Spirit not of fear but of power and love and self control”

God’s Spirit is not of fear. He promises His Spirit of power. I can have the assurance that I have His power helping me, even when I feel weak in my current abilities.

John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

He promises us peace. I can have peace in any circumstance, because He has given us this gift. I can have peace walking into this field even knowing there are endless challenges coming my way.

1 Peter 5:7“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” 

Wow…we can simply just give our worries to Him. Because He cares for us, He promises to carry our worries. I don’t have to worry about being good enough, about having the right words, about my inexperience, or about having time to continue to do the random things I love- because He’s got me.

Matthew 21:22“And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

Cowabunga. I know He promises to give us what we ask for in His name with an expectant hope. Something I am working on this year is praying more confidently in Jesus’ name. If I truly believe He is who He says He is, how drastically different my prayers should look!

I know He will come through on His promises. I know He will place me in the nursing job that will allow me to bring healing to my patients and love them each deeply in His name. I know He will take care of me, because He promises this.

And if I truly believe this, then what do I have to fear?

Something our pastor recently said has stuck with me with great gravity: “Two opposing options reside in the unknown: Fear and Faith. Which will you choose?”

I want to choose Faith.

So rather than my “what ifs” of insecurity, uncertainty, and fear, what if I choose faith. What if I choose to trust in God’s promises, what if I strive for what seems impossible in His name? What if I no longer ask “what if” and rest in His promise?

Going forward, I am going to change the way I have been thinking this first week of January. I am going to be excited and expectant for the future. I am going to lean on Christ and rejoice in His blessings each day.

I choose to give my fear to Him and rest in His beautiful name.

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129 thoughts on “Today I’m Terrified. But…

  1. Mack! I am sending you a lot, a lot of love! You won’t give up on blogging; I – and all of your other followers – won’t let you! Maybe 2016 was the year that taught you all of the things you need to bring with you when these big opportunities come along.

    I completely get what you mean with the grieving part. Every time I go onto a different part of education I miss the last. At college (16-18) I missed school and at university I started to miss college. I realised that by the end of university I will want to do it all over again. So I decided to embrace every moment. One day you’ll miss the part of your life you’re about to begin so I hope the anxiety lifts so you can make room for lots of happiness.

    Good luck with your interview!! I have my fingers tightly crossed for you <3

    1. Kat!!! Ahhh! You are the sweetest <3 Thank you IMMENSELY for the kind encouragement. I'm gonna keep those words, especially about blogging, in mind when the going get's tough 😉 And Yes!! I love that perspective that 2016 taught me those important things about being well-rounded to help me in this next stage. SUCH a great insight there!!! Thank you again, your words mean the world <3 <3

  2. Cowabunga! Why have I never heard this word before?

    I was actually just listening to the first part of a teaching from a Professor/Pastor Don Keathley and he was talking about our Grace benefits package–what we get in addition to being transferred out of the kingdom of darkness and into the kingdom of the Son–and one of his last points was, God qualifies us. You’ve probably heard that saying, ‘God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called,’ and he went on to add that–of course–we aren’t qualified by who we know as Abraham’s children were, or by what we do as the Israelite nation was after God made the old covenant with them, but we’re qualified by who we trust, Jesus, who is our total completion and qualification. If He wants you in that position, by gum he’s going to put you there and you’re already qualified for his plans for you 😀 And you know it’s more than that too because another part of that benefits package is he is holding on to you and he isn’t ever going to let go. I totally get that fear of losing who you’ve become but he is holding on to you. It’s not that we try to hold on to him it’s that he’s holding on to us and he won’t ever let go; the Father, Jesus and Spirit would all have to let go of each other to let go of you because they’re holding on to us in the same way they hold on to each other. Boom.

    And you know something? That you’re fighting fear with the truth is a really good indication (I think, anyway) that you’re not gonna lose yourself so easily in this new year. And Jesus is definitely not going to lose you, because the truth is of course, he loves you way too much to let go, his “YES, I love you,” is (as Steve McVey says) going to reverberate through eternity for ever and for ever and forever and for ever no matter what.

    You know, on the prayer note. That’s something that’s really changed for me–in my mind, if not yet in how I pray in every situation. But I’ve been more conscious of it because my wife and I lead a youth group and I want to show them what it looks like to have Jesus’ life filling and flooding out of you and those old public petition formats just…have never met the Jesus I have. And so not only have I been thinking about how the way I talk to Jesus is changed by the fact that we already have all these benefits in Jesus and we don’t really have to beg and plead for them, but also just simply that He is present. He is here, He is Emmanuel, ‘God with us,’ I Am, God present-tense, right here, right now, within a whisper’s breath. And now that I mention it, how does that change how we might live in general? Wowie! Moment to moment, you can be absolutely certain He is with you this year and always, within a whisper’s breath, and He loves you and He is never letting go.

    So take that, fear! 😀

    1. Carson, thank you SO much for taking the time to read and as always leave such an encouraging, heartfelt, and truth-filled response. I love that quote, “God doesn’t call the qualified, but qualifies the called.” I haven’t heard it in a while though- so thank you so much for the reminder! I seriously needed that! And wow, that’s such an AMAZING perspective about the trinity all holding onto us. I have never thought about that in that way…. It’s powerful! WOW. Thank you for taking the time to speak such truth into this situation. It is encouraging beyond words. Thankful for you here!

      **Also, about “Cowabunga”… I was gonna replace that with something else but it just kinda seemed to fit. Hahaha.

      1. As always, you’re welcome (= (because I don’t hold monopoly–or any percentage at all really–on Christ in me the hope of glory, unless it is 100% consumed)

        I’ve never heard it quite like that myself, I actually just watched a sermon from Don Keathley [link to the 45-minute video] talking about what he calls our grace benefits package, and somewhere in there he brings out that as part of it, I found it really encouraging (:
        And again you’re welcome (: I’m so glad Father connected me with your blog (:

        Cowabunga, I like it! Haha.

  3. Scripture says 365 times that we should fear/worry not, and if and when we do it is a form of disobedience. So I’m learning to worry not and trust more. I hope that may help a little. Hugs and blessings, N 🙂 <3

      1. Yes, I’ve read that it does in several places over the last year or two and could probably find a list of where they are on the internet which I may do. It is powerful and it’s interesting that that means there’s one for every day of the year. 🙂 <3

  4. You will be fine. Life is about change and challenges and it’s all about how you approach them. You are a Calvin!!! We survive. I love you!❤️

    1. Hehe thank you. Is your phone recovering from me blowing up from it yesterday?! Lol. And yes, that is so trueeee and I am darn proud of it 😉 I’ve got some strong blood running through my veins, you, grandma and grandpa, and mom are evidence of that. I love youuuuu!

  5. Mack, my sweet sweet girl, I completely understand the fear you have with the new year; job hunting, interviews, and the job itself, it’s definitely a lot and there’s going to be a lot of trial and error but just know whatever happens, you are exactly where he needs you to be. He has a great plan awaiting you. Just take everything you’ve learned and experienced in 2016 and jump into 2017 head first. Think of 2017 as the year for you to implement everything you’ve learned so that you can accomplish your dreams! Don’t forget that all your loved ones, DJ, us bloggers, friends, everyone- you have a massive support group that is here rooting for you! And more importantly don’t sweat the interviews, jobs, and such; of course do your best- but in the grand scheme of things, a job is a job and people go through them like crazy- not always will the first job be the job you stay at for the rest of your life so don’t over think it or stress yourself out! Sending you so much love and best of luck at all your interviews!! I’ll keep you in my prayers girlie!!!

    xo, JJ

    1. Ahhh you are too sweet, JJ! Gosh this was SOOOO encouraging!!! You are so wise, I’m thankful to have you here. And uhh it’s wayy too sweet of you to take the time to read and respond when you are on vacayyyy! Thank you, thank you immensely for the kind words… they mean the absolute world! Truly helped put things in perspective. It means everything to have such a solid community here too. I’m excited to update you all on the happenings in the next couple months!xoxo <3

  6. Hi Mackenzie!! I encourage you to keep God in your heart and pray about what your feeling. Also, welcome the new year and the new opportunities and think happy 😊 thoughts. Don’t give up on the things you love especially the baking and know that you ARE good enough. Trust in what God has in store for you 😊😊

  7. New beginnings usually are disguised as painful endings or fear. Keep that in mind when you’re feeling anxious. 🙂 <3 The entire time I was reading this I was thinking… Jeremiah 29:11… and to see it at the end, you have NOTHING to worry about. Trust in His plan for you <3 xo

    1. Thank you so much, sweet girl! I love what you said about new beginnings… I have never heard that before but I LOVE that and I will cling to that! Thank you again <3 <3

  8. I know God will put you in the job that He knows is best for you. Worrying won’t do a thing for you. It’s already been decided. And there will be changes in your life but you’ll find a way to include the things you really *need* and that you don’t really miss the things you don’t. You may not do a lot of traveling for a while but you’ll travel again. You may not blog quite as often but you’ll still write. You’ll bake and hike and begin new friendships because God wants everything good for you.
    There may not be time to do everything as often as you are used to but there will be time for everything. God promised us that there is a season for everything.
    You’re in my prayers, Sweet Girl. But I know God already has taken care of everything for you so I’m just going to thank Him.

    1. Thank you, thank you, Elizabeth, for your words of TRUTH and encouragement <3 You are SO right- just because life will look different, it doesn't mean that it will be bad in any sense. God does want everything good for His children so why would He deprive me of these things that have brought me joy in this season? It seems almost silly to contemplate that! Thank you for your prayers- they mean everything. Your faith is inspiring and I am going to start thanking God for the future blessings that He has always secured. Wow.. thank you again for offering such uplifting wisdom.

  9. Hey,Mack. Now I know what’s my wife is terrified of. She has got a job in this week and she looks terrified. She’s in a dilemma whether to go or not. I’m gonna tell her choose faith not fear. Thanks for this post. Do not give up blogging. Stay positive as always.

    1. Sijo, thank you SOOOO much for reading and your response. I came so close to deleting this post… it felt like it wouldn’t resonate or make sense with anyone, so I thought maybe I should just keep it to myself. But I realized that maybe, just maybe, it would encourage someone going through something similar. So thank YOU for sharing this with me, it encouraged me more than you know. And I hope that your wife is given a spirit of faith, confidence, and joy in this challenging search as well! Please give her my best! Wishing your family a blessed week!

      1. Thank you !! She has chosen faith and ready to go for the job. Whatever we do will ultimately become an experience as well as memory. That only matters. Now she’s back to herself again. Wishing your family a blessed week too. 🙂

  10. What a fantastic post Mack. I had a knot in my stomach and a wave of fear hit me at midnight on new years, similar to you. I think it’s because my past year went so well that I didn’t want it to end. It’s not uncommon I think. As far as the job interviews, I think they’d be lucky to have you. Believe it yourself too and you’ll be fine.

    1. Myra, it means so much that you would share this with me. I felt pretty alone in that feeling, (not that I would wish it on anyone), but it’s always good to know that you are not alone in these emotions/situations in life. Thank you for the encouraging words too, I will certainly keep you updated <3 I hope this week is a beautiful one for you! And furthermore, I hope this year far surpasses even the blessings of the last 🙂

  11. Wishing all the best for a new opening dear sister Mackenzie. …waiting to hear good news from your side …I have been interacting with you since a month …an amazing person you are with an allround personality …you will definitely achieve more than you desire ….and all the best once again 👍👍

    1. Sweet Kiran, thank you so much for the sweetest of words. I wish you blessings on blessings as well, dear <3 Thank you for sharing your kind heart!

  12. MacKenzie, I LOVE this post and all the verses you put with it! And this is one huge reason why you won’t stop blogging even when life gets busy. Blogging is a way to get those thoughts out of your head and a place for future reference when you need to see/hear/read something again! It’s a picture diary of your life, the struggles and apprehension you faced and then of victories won! It helps you and it helps and encourages others. While 2016 was a year to overcome, 2017 will be a year to achieve and attain. BE EXCITED!! It’s a new phase for you of growth and challenge and Mackenzie you will be AMAZING! I can tell from your sweet heart through your blogs that you will be a truly wonderful nurse at your “dream position”. Wishing you a wonderful 2017. I can’t wait to follow along with you! xo<3

    1. Anna, wow, you really helped me put things into such a full picture perspective!! That’s exactly why I created this blog.. a diary come to life so to speak, so thank you for reminding me of this and your IMMENSE encouragement <3 You are like a blog mom to me who helps me keep things in an optimistic, and realistic view, in such a loving way. Thank you, thank you again. I can't tell you how much this means to me <3

  13. You’re in my prayers. I’m going through the same thing with transitioning into a teaching career as our school year starts in February. It sounds like you are v capable and good at what you do if your dream job even wants to interview you. We have to believe that 2017 will be even better than 2016. Not worrying is easier said than done even for Christians! And it’s summer vacation in Buenos Aires so I’ve got a lot of time to think and think and think :/ But I also have time to pray for me and you 🙂

    1. Thank you so much, Kristin! Your prayers mean SO MUCH. I will be praying that you have a smooth transition into your job too! Thank you for your sympathy, as challenging as these transitions are, I love that God sends others going through similar stages of life in each other’s paths. I hope that you are having a beautiful rest of your Summer Vacation and you will be an amazing teacher! You certainly have a beautiful heart that will translate into your job BIG TIME! Your students and co-workers are lucky to have you. Keep me posted!!!! <3

      1. Thank you dear! I’m hoping to get a job in a Christian school cuz I really wanna teach the Bible. Dude you’re gonna be an awesome nurse and I’m still praying for you!! <3

      2. Oh please keep me posted on that!!!! I’ll be praying that the perfect position comes along for you! Thank you again! <3 You're the best!

  14. Great post! I wrote a post myself called “Fear is a liar”. Seems like you have a great grasp on this notion already, and it’s so true. You know where fear comes from. You know who whispers those lies in your ears. It certainly isn’t your Good Father above. So continue to cling to Him and His promises and He will fill you with a peace that surpasses allllll understanding, despite your circumstances. Thanks for the great post!

    1. I definitely will have to read your post!!! Thank you sooo much for your kind words of affirmation! You are so right!!!! He will fill us with peace that surpasses understanding, and although I feel like I have heard this often, it is SO true and the implications are amazing to really contemplate on. I’m not sure that I’ve ever felt that this truth is so applicable as it is now in my life. How in the world can I have peace in this stage?! Because He gives us peace that SURPASSES that understanding. Thank you for that reminder!!!!!! I hope you have an absolutely wonderful week <3 <3

  15. So many exciting things! But yes, change can be scary. Keep your faith and keep your trust and believe everything will work out in it’s own, perfect way. Because it WILL! xoxo

    1. Brittany, that encourages me SO much that it offered you encouragement too!!! I wasn’t sure if I was going to post this because it felt so specific to my circumstance and I didn’t know if it would resonate with anyone, but I’m so thankful that it was able to spark your week with a bit of this truth <3 Have SUCH a good week, girl! <3

  16. Beautiful, honest post, Mackenzie! It’s in our nature to worry and stress, but as you so beautiful stated, it’s also our choice to trust in Him and His plan for us. The last line of your post is something that I find myself having to remind myself often. I am positive that 2017 will be an incredible year for you! With your perspective and passion for life, those around you, and the things you love, I know that keeping up with work and blogging may work a little different with time constraints, but it won’t be a source of stress but a source of inspiration. Good luck with everything!! Thinking about ya!

    1. Jasmine, thank you so much for your sweet words full of such truth. Thank you also for sharing your positivity!!! You are so right too- while things may look different, it doesn’t lessen the ability for them to still offer the same joy they do now. I may not be able to blog as often, but when I can it will still be a wonderful outlet! Thank you for sharing this with me and it really has helped shift that perspective. I hope this week is amazing for you!!!! <3

  17. First off huge huge HUGE hugs. Also believe me when I say I know what you are going through. I have dealt with anxiety most of my life and most people don’t know because I am always so happy and optimistic on the surface. But I think that is what gets me through. Kind of along the lines of “Fake it until you make it.” If I am happy and confident enough it will come to pass.
    Usually it does. But it doesn’t mean the trepidation isn’t there and allowing people in like you have, actually helps the to get through it, instead of avoiding it. You do have an amazing support group who will love you and support you regardless of what you do.
    Sometimes when you get stuck inside your own head it hard for us to remember that. Anxiety, fear, failure, while unpleasant feelings, are all part of the process, and they are what makes us able to appreciate those times that we overcome them. What is more, our loved ones love us regardless. Whether we are sunshine and rainbows, or bawling curled up balls on the floor.
    Huge hugs. 2017 is going to be an amazing year for you. New doors are opening which is scary, but at the same time they are also amazing and incredible. You got this beauty! <3

    1. K., thank you for the hugs!!! I needed that! Thank you also for sharing all this with me from a place of empathy. I’m thankful to be surrounded by you and others that have been through this place in life and you truly “get it” because we are SO similar in these ways. Your encouragement and affirmation about opening up about these fears further helps me feel like I’m learning the value of hanging out in the “vulnerability” department 😉 But yes- when we get stuck in our own heads that is where every fear and anxious thought is magnified. BUT, you are sooo spot on- when we do overcome these trying times and look back, it develops strength and character. It’s so easy to forget that in the moment (and I certainly did forget), so thank you for the HUGE reminder as I’m going through it!!!!!!!! So thankful for you. I will definitely keep you updated ☺

      1. Awe sweetie anytime! Hugs make the world go round so here are some more! *Huge Hugs*
        We really are. I am finding that more and more. We may feel along, or like we are the only ones who feel a certain way, but we aren’t. Somewhere out there is at least one kindred spirit and many times it is many.
        Being vulnerable is hard. It can feel like there is so much judgement to be so, but it does make us stronger.
        It definitely does and you got this lady! We are all human, we are allowed those moments of self doubts, but it definitely helps when we have people in our corner cheering us on!
        Awe I am thankful for you! So much love to you beauty! <3

    1. Thank you so much, Nikki!!!! I loved your last penguin pondering- definitely brightened my day!!! Thank you for that and the well wishes! xo <3

    1. Oh my goodness thank you so much <3 Your kind words mean the absolute world! I will certainly keep you posted! I hope this week is off to a wonderful start for you!!

  18. Absolutely beautiful. This year will be insanely scary for me as I move past being a fulltime student and into adulthood. Change is scary and loss of an old life is hard but you are so right that we have to move forward with faith in God and the universe and in ourselves xoxoxoxo

    1. Oh sweet Hannah, we are in very similar stages of life right now! You will THRIVE and I hope you will keep us updated on your journey! I’m thankful we can encourage each other through the craziness of it all! Thank YOU for encouraging me today.<3 <3 xo

      1. Of course!! I promise to keep sharing this beautiful crazy confusing part of my life! Thank you for the faith and for your confidence that I’ll make it through this stage xoxo

  19. Good luck with your interview! 😀 I don’t do well with change either so I can really relate to those feelings. I actually soooo needed to hear your words and see these verses today too. I get so caught up in the what ifs of life and it makes me anxious for no reason! Thank you!! Sending prayers your way as you navigate some big changes!

    1. Thank you, Heather!!!!! I’m SOO glad that this post encouraged you <3 I know there are BIG beautiful changes going on in your life right now, and I pray that you will have peace as you enter this new stage of life as well! Thank you sooo much for stopping by and leaving such an encouraging note!! It helps me to know I'm not alone in that and that it really is just a season of life that everyone goes through and GETS through. I hope this week is off to a perfect start for you!!!!

  20. I know you’ll be just fine, Mack! You’re still really young and just beginning your life in the real world. The nursing field has tons of job opportunities anywhere you live! I’m sure you’ll easily land a job! I’m really hoping you get your dream job. Please blog more about your job hunt! I enjoy reading about you and your life! Your blog is always a breath of fresh air! There’s so many people who love you! Hugs <3 and I'll pray for you! Think positive thoughts because thoughts become things 🙂

    1. Thank you, Lisa!! I really needed to hear this (about still being young and just at the beginning). I think I get caught up in the comparison game and so many of my friends in the midwest were able to start nursing almost immediately after graduation, while it took me 7 months here in cali to get my approval to test for my license! So I start to feel “behind” and put so much pressure on myself to get a job to “catch up”. That point of view makes the waiting times even more anxiety producing, so thank you for the reminder that I truly am just getting started and have the rest of my life to work! I needed a little bit of perspective framing 😉 Also thank you for your sweet words! They mean the WORLD. The support here is one of the reasons I’m so afraid of time constraints in the future- I never want to leave this amazing community! I will definitely keep you posted! I hope your week is off to a beautiful start, Lisa. Thank you again for taking the time to encourage me so much <3

      1. I understand exactly where you are coming from. It took me awhile to realize we’re all different and have different paths and journeys in life. I no longer compare myself to anyone else anymore because…well I’m me! Lol. I’m sure your midwest friends probably don’t blog or experience the traveling and marriage, etc. you have. They have their own things going on. My boyfriend is OLD compared to you! Lol. He’s 39 and just started nursing school in November! He has two degrees already but I think he kind of had a hard time finding himself for awhile. I’m glad he finally found something to stick with that he likes, even though it’s sometimes hard on our relationship. We have had our ups and downs in almost four years. Lol anyway…I know you’ll do great in your career and life 🙂 I understand if you can’t be around as much when you start working. I’m sure me and others here will take whatever time you can give us.

      2. YES! That is so true- we all have different paths, even if they look similar in some ways, no one’s journey is identical- but that also makes it so beautiful! Thank you for that thought! And I wouldn’t trade the memories through my journey up to this point for another path, simply because they have shaped who I am- I needed that reminder to count my blessings of where I am, so thank you, thank you for that. And about your boyfriend- That’s still incredible, and also a good reminder to me that it’s about the journey… Please keep me posted about everything! I know nursing school is a boogar, but it will fly by before you both know it! Thank you again, Lisa. Your words mean THE WORLD to me.

  21. Lovely post, Mack. I can see exactly what you mean, but perhaps think of it as a being a new year, a different year. Totally different to last year, sure, and with it will bring it’s own new experiences and moments to cherish. Fingers crossed for the interview and remember that you can only be you, and your best you. That shall be enough 🙂 what is meant to be, will be xx

    1. Aww thank you so so much, Laura!!!! YES! That is a great perspective- just thinking it of a year that stands alone without comparing it to the good or bad of years past, just a different one all together. I hadn’t event thought of that, so thank you!!!! I hope you have a wonderful rest of your weekend <3 Thank you again for the sweet encouragement.

  22. I can totally relate to all those feelings. I get those feelings every time my husband and I move (right now). It’s like a big part of our life is all of a sudden in the past and doesn’t exist anymore. For the last two years I have been saying, “these are the days” and “I know we are going to look back and miss this amazing time in our lives” and now with our big move coming up, “this” time right now is about to end. It is exciting don’t get me wrong, but a part of me always “grieves” the loss of a good period of time in my life. But, I also realize that new doors are opening for new amazing times and memories to be made. Change and uncertainty is a very scary thing, but it can be so exciting too. xoxoxo

  23. Taylor, thank you, THANK YOU for your sweet sympathy. I didn’t even think about how this move could be impacting you in this way! So thank you for sharing that with me.. Maybe the fact that we actually do grieve the loss of a good period of our lives magnifies just how amazing that time was. It can make us hopeful for the next stage too! And you are so right, it truly is just another door open for NEW amazing times/memories that would not be possible in the last stage. Thank you again. This was so encouraging! I’m exciting to see where these changes take all of us!!!!!! xoxoxo

  24. Aww Mack! I’m so sorry that the start of 2017 hasn’t been as happy. Truth be told, I was a bit apprehensive and wasn’t ecstatic when 2017 rang in. I am a worry wart at heart. I worry about everything and anything. However, I’ve been starting my daily QT’s with God back up again. The Bible verses that I’ve seen as a child in Sunday school speak differently to me. Such as Jeremiah 29:11. That verse is framed and has always been hanging in my room since I was in fourth grade. But now in high school, that verse speaks so truly to me. I need to stop worrying because God has my back. One of my favorite songs is called “no longer slaves” and one of the verses is “I am no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God.” You DO NOT have to be a slave to the materialistic concerns of this world and fear them. Because you are God’s precious daughter. I pray for the best in your interview and for the many blessings that will come to you in 2017. Xo, Stephanie ❤

    1. Stephanie, ohhh my gooodness thank you SOOO much for alll these words just saturated with truth and wisdom. You are so right- as God’s daughters we have NOTHING to fear. I have heard that song so many times and I don’t think the words ever really connected until you pointed it out…. thank you so much again. I pray that 2017 can be a year of surrendering these fears/worries to God for both of us <3 Have such a great rest of your week, chica!

  25. Oh girl, I remember those same feelings. But let me tell you that on the other side of it, I never should have worried. Life has turned out so incredibly and I shouldn’t have wasted one minute on stressing about the future. I know that this is the point of your post – that you aren’t going to worry about it. That you won’t let fear take over. I just want to encourage you! If those feelings start to creep back in, just come back and re-read your same post again! 🙂 Lately I’ve been loving the song “I Stand Here” by Hannah Kerr. My favorite lyrics from it are these: “I stand here at Your feet, laying down the fear in me. As your child, claiming peace. Oh give this heart Your victory!” Ah, just love it. You’ve got this, girl. God is so faithful to His children. 🙂

    1. Ah sweet Rachel, thank you so much for sharing all this with me!!!!!! It’s so encouraging knowing someone who is speaking from the other side of those concerns/fears and can confidently say there is nothing to truly stress about. I just listened to the song by Hannah Kerr and it brought me to tears! Oh how I needed that. Thank you SOO much for sharing with me. Those lyrics are powerful. God is so good. Wow- thank you again. Hope the rest of the week is wonderful for you <3

  26. Mack, you really touch me with your honesty and your faith. I know it’s hard and scary when life moves us in a different direction, but I know you will be fine. When I find myself worrying excessively I repeat the mantra, “pray more, worry less”. Try it. You will be in my prayers. Best of luck to you!

    1. Thank you sooo much for reading and leaving such an encouraging comment, Suzette!!!! <3 I love your mantra- and the power of positive thinking is SUCH a real thing. I definitely will have to keep this in the forefront of my mind! Your prayers mean SO much to me. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your week <3 Thank you again!

  27. I’m so happy you posted this. I really needed this today and everyday right now! I’ve been super MIA lately but the holidays and job hunt have gotten the best of me. It’s amazing that you have an interview with your dream employer–that must feel amazing! I’m waiting to set up an interview with one of mine, and I’m hoping for the best. My prayers are with you during your job hunt! We just have to give it all to God and let him lead us where we need to be. xoxo J

    1. Jennifer!!!!! Heyy!- oh my goodness it’s so good to see you here. I totally understand… holidays and the turn of the year can be NUTS! But I’m so glad you are back! I’m soooo glad this encouraged you. And girl, you will killlll that interview! Please keep me updated… I know that you are in the thick of all this stage of life too. We will come out strong on the other side and, yes, we just have to let God lead us because He truly knows what’s best and Has BIG plans for us both. XOXOXO. <3 Hope you have an life update on the blog coming soon 😉

  28. Oh my heart. You are just such a beautiful soul, my dear. I’m so glad that 2016 was so good for you, and I know (yes KNOW) that this year will be great too. Why? Because you are smart. You are kind. And you are just downright wonderful. Have faith in God’s plan. I know He has big things in store for you. XOXO

    1. Ahhhhhh making me cry!!!!! Girl, you can’t just leave this sweet of a comment without a warning to grab a tissue first 😉 Seriously, Anna, I can’t thank you enough for your IMMENSE encouragement. SO thankful for you and YOUR beautiful heart. Your confidence in me through taking the test in October to now in this phase has really helped me more than you know! I hope you are having the most wonderful week <3 xoxoxo

  29. Aww, Mackenzie! I just love this post for so many reasons. It’s just so real and raw and full of truth! The way you combat your fears with God’s word is so inspiring!!! <3

  30. Ah Mack, so honest and touching. Forget about the “what ifs” and just go for it. Life is so full of uncertainty but all we can do is take those small steps that sometimes lead us to amazing places. Sending you lots of love and my warmest wishes for a wonderful year ahead. xo ❤️

    1. Thank you SO much, Miriam <3 I definitely let the "what ifs" control wayy too much of my time and thoughts. Time to step past that! And yess the uncertainty is where the crossroads lead to some amazing things! I needed that reminder. Thank you for all the wishes of love. I will certainly keep you updated on where the next road leads! xox

  31. WOW! Reading this, I saw so much of myself. I always worry about change and not being good enough or failing. I hate that! I’m so glad that you shared all of those verses. I loved reading them, and they reminded me that I shouldn’t feel that way. And, you shouldn’t either! You will be great! Just trust that God will place you where you are meant to be. And, you don’t have to lose the things that bring you joy. You are embarking on a new journey that will bring you joy too, in a different way. But, just because you add something new doesn’t mean you can’t still do all the other things. Good luck to you!! xo

    1. Thank you so much, Tara, for your sympathy with this! I wouldn’t wish this confusing season on anyone… but it’s just life, and it’s nice that we don’t have to be the only ones to go through it! And YES! I love that perspective that we can just view it as different…. not compare it to previous good or bad seasons, just different and special in it’s own way! Thank you for that. I can’t wait to see the amazing things that come this year for you too, dear!!! Thank you again for your sweet encouragement! xoxo

  32. Yay, Mack! You can do it!! I love and acknowledge you for your honesty and for the way that you turn to the truth. Peace is always within you, at least that is my experience. <3 You are an inspiration, and I am glad to know you – even if you blog once a month. God bless you and keep you safe. Love, Debbie ps – big smiles for your weekend.

    1. THANK YOU so much, Debbie!!!! You have such an encouraging heart that you share wherever you go! I appreciate dearly you sharing it with me <3 I am so glad to know you, and treasure your support and love!!!! BIG smiles for you too!! I hope it's warmer down south than it is up this way 😉 *HUGS!*

  33. This is a beautiful and honest post that I relate to in many ways, as I’m sure do others. Feelings of doubt. But yes, when we place our faith in a Higher Power, we will meet with Truth and love. Best wishes for your interview xx

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